Retreat group leader Scott Cothran talks about his background, the effects of the job on the marriage, and his first experience attending a Minding the Marriage™ first responder retreat...
In 2018, Minding the Badge™ began the concept of hosting marriage retreats for first responders that would be focused on both marital resiliency and mental health, after seeing supportive connections between them in an abundance of research on first responders and combat veterans. This research consistently showed a powerful paradigm: better mental health led to better marriages and better marriages led to better mental health.
After discovering relatively few outreaches to the spouses of first responders and even less first responder marriage retreats, Minding the Badge™ launched Minding the Marriage™ in 2019, scheduling its first retreat at a day camp near Austin, Texas.
Since then, we have grown to host retreats nearly every quarter of the year in North Texas, and recently launched the first of its kind service exclusive to the spouses of first responders: Peer Support Training for Spouses.
After discovering relatively few outreaches to the spouses of first responders and even less first responder marriage retreats, Minding the Badge™ launched Minding the Marriage™ in 2019, scheduling its first retreat at a day camp near Austin, Texas.
Since then, we have grown to host retreats nearly every quarter of the year in North Texas, and recently launched the first of its kind service exclusive to the spouses of first responders: Peer Support Training for Spouses.
"Often, first responders may suppress their feelings or fail to discuss the distressing events they witness, leading to emotional distance or conflict within the marriage. "
First responders frequently encounter life-and-death situations, accidents, and trauma that can create emotional scars and lead to disregulation mentally, physically, and spiritually. The ability for both couples to process and cope with these emotions is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships. Often, first responders may suppress their feelings or fail to discuss the distressing events they witness, leading to emotional distance or conflict within the marriage.
First responders may have good intentions of sheltering their spouses from the negative details of the job as a way to prevent issues such as secondary trauma; however, their spouses may read into this personally and feel left out and isolated. In turn, the constant state of “high alert” first responders may carry with them off the job can lead to irritability, communication breakdowns, and emotional fatigue at home.
THE BENEFITS OF FIRST RESPONDER MARRIAGE RETREATS
First responder marriage retreats provide a structured environment for couples to reconnect, communicate, and heal from the stresses of the job. Minding the Marriage™ retreats offer a range of benefits tailored to the unique challenges faced by first responders and their spouses. Breakout groups offer peer support not only for the first responders who connect with other first responders, but for the spouses to connect with other spouses—a chance they are seldom given outside the limitations of social media.
REBUILDING EMOTIONAL CONNECTION
Time away from work and daily stressors allows couples to focus on one another without distractions. A retreat offers an opportunity to reconnect on a deeper emotional level, rekindling intimacy and affection.
ADDRESSING STRESS & TRAUMA
Couples can learn ways to process the stress or trauma of the job. A lack of training for spouses of first responders leaves them with a lack of understanding and ability to help.
STRENGTHEN COPING MECHANISMS
Connecting with other first responder couples can help break the isolation that many partners feel. These support networks offer a sense of community and solidarity, where couples can share experiences and advice in a nonjudgmental space.
ENHANCING MARITAL SATISFACTION
Retreats often encourage couples to set relationship goals and work together toward a future vision. This shared goal-setting can reignite a sense of purpose and direction in the marriage, helping couples overcome the challenges of their demanding professions.
